If you’ve read the first two articles in this series, you know my quiet time hasn’t always looked the way it does today. We talked about how I stopped treating it like another task to accomplish and started seeing it as time with Someone I wanted to know better. Then we talked about why my quiet time has changed over the years as life itself has changed.
That naturally raises another question.
If we genuinely want to spend time with God, why is it still so hard to stay consistent?
For years, I assumed the answer was simple.
I just needed more discipline.
Then life with young kids reminded me that the answer wasn’t nearly that simple.
I’d hear people talk about spending an hour every morning reading their Bible and praying, and honestly, I couldn’t figure out how they did it.
At the time I had two little kids.
My mornings weren’t quiet. They were filled with cereal bowls, backpacks, forgotten permission slips, and trying to get everyone out the door with everyone reasonably happy. If I found ten uninterrupted minutes to take a shower, I considered that a victory.
So do you know where part of my quiet time happened?
In the shower.
I’d turn on biblical teaching or worship music while I got ready. Sometimes I’d spend those few minutes praying because it was the only place no one was asking me a question.
Was it the picture of a perfect quiet time?
Not even close.
But looking back, I don’t think God was disappointed that I wasn’t sitting at a beautiful kitchen table with a journal, a hot cup of coffee, and forty-five uninterrupted minutes.
I think He was simply delighted that I was meeting with Him.
That season taught me something I’ve never forgotten.
The reason so many quiet times don’t last usually isn’t because we don’t love God.
It’s because we’re trying to build someone else’s relationship with God instead of our own.
Healthy Relationships Don’t All Look the Same
Think about the people you love.
Every relationship in your life has its own personality.
Some friendships are built over long conversations with a cup of coffee. Others grow because you hike together, work on projects together, or share the same hobby. Neither relationship is healthier because of the activity. The activity simply becomes one of the ways you enjoy spending time together.
Marriage works the same way.
Years ago someone gave me a piece of marriage advice that has stayed with me ever since.
“Find something your husband genuinely enjoys and learn to enjoy it with him.”
Well…
My husband loves bowling.
I’ve bowled.
Let’s just say it’s never become my favorite thing.
Golf, on the other hand, surprised both of us.
I started playing because it gave us something to do together. Somewhere along the way I realized I genuinely enjoyed it too. Now it’s become one of our favorite ways to spend time together.
Our relationship didn’t grow because I forced myself to like bowling.
It grew because we found something we both enjoyed.
I wonder if we’ve forgotten that when it comes to spending time with God.
Maybe You’re Not Failing—Maybe You’re Just Trying the Wrong Approach
I think this is where so many Christians quietly become discouraged.
Someone recommends a Bible reading plan. You make it two weeks.
Someone says they journal every morning. You buy the journal. It stays mostly blank.
Someone talks about getting up at five o’clock to pray. You try. Then you hit snooze.
Pretty soon you begin wondering if the problem is your discipline.
Maybe.
Or maybe you’ve simply been trying to build your relationship with God in ways that don’t fit the person He created you to be.
Discover What Helps You Enjoy Spending Time with God
Instead of asking, “What’s the perfect quiet time?” maybe start asking a different question.
What helps me enjoy spending time with God right now?
If you don’t enjoy reading for long stretches, don’t be surprised if a year-long Bible reading plan loses momentum after a couple of weeks. That doesn’t mean you don’t love God’s Word. Maybe you’ll connect with Scripture better by listening to it while you’re driving or taking a walk.
If journaling feels like homework, don’t force yourself to fill three pages every morning. Write one sentence. One prayer. One thing you’re thankful for.
If sitting still makes your mind wander, take your quiet time outside. Some of my sweetest conversations with God have happened while walking through my neighborhood.
If worship helps settle your heart before you read, begin there.
If studying with other believers helps you stay engaged, join a Bible study at your church or a group like Community Bible Study or Bible Study Fellowship.
Try something. Stay with it for a while. If it helps you enjoy spending time with God, wonderful. If it doesn’t…
Try something else.
That isn’t failure.
It’s exactly what we do in every healthy relationship.
Consistency Is Built One Conversation at a Time
I’ve stopped asking myself,
“What’s the perfect quiet time?”
Now I ask,
“What helps me enjoy spending time with God right now?”
Those are very different questions.
The first one usually leaves me feeling like I’m falling short. The second one keeps drawing me back. Maybe that’s why I think consistency has less to do with discipline than we’ve been led to believe.
After all, the relationships we value most aren’t built because we never miss a conversation. They’re built because we keep coming back.
Miss a day? Come back tomorrow.
Your reading plan is hopelessly behind? Open your Bible anyway.
Your prayers have been quiet for a while? Start with one honest sentence.
God isn’t waiting for you to catch up. He’s simply waiting for you.
A Final Thought
Maybe the goal isn’t to build the perfect quiet time.
Maybe the goal is to enjoy one conversation with God today.
Read one Psalm.
Take one prayer walk.
Listen to one worship song.
Study one passage with friends.
Sit quietly for five minutes.
Try something.
And if it doesn’t help you connect with God the way you hoped…
Try something else.
Because maybe consistency isn’t about finding the perfect routine.
Maybe it’s about discovering the ways you genuinely enjoy spending time with the God who has been looking forward to spending time with you all along.
Continue the Conversation
If today’s conversation encouraged you, here are a few places to continue.
- How I Finally Built a Quiet Time I Actually Look Forward To
- When Prayer Feels Like a Waste of Time (And Why It Matters Anyway)
- The God Who Wants to Be Known: A Glimpse into His Heart
And if you’re looking for a simple way to reconnect with God, I’d love to invite you to download my free 5-Day Prayer Reset.